We are working on sleeping in his crib this week. I'm staying current on my (self-imposed) chores, though I'm a tiny bit behind. I need to sweep the floors today before I can mop them. I was supposed to sweep them yesterday. Oh well.

When I put Spence in his crib, he started crying as soon as I started the waternoise. I hope he's not going to start fussing everytime we put him down. He has the last few nights. The only night since Friday that he hasn't was Sat, when he didn't take an evening nap. He just settled down - it's actually the second time, he did once and started whining again. He doesn't cry that much any more, more whining and fussing. He only seems to really cry for three reasons: hunger, pain, or desire to move around. The other day, he was screaming bloody murder and we thought something was REALLY wrong, but as soon as I got up and walked him around, he stopped immediately. Little shithead! He's rolled a couple of times now from front to back, but not the other way. He's also been eating cereal (very soupy) with a spoon and yesterday I gave him some baby applesauce for the first time. He seemed to like it, but not love it.

Tom and Lucy came up yesterday. Lucy was her usual self. Her usual, "Just let me know if you want me to take him," and "Just let me know if you want me to hold the bottle," quotes were repeated numerous times. Well Lucy, I don't want you to, so I'll just continue on as I was prior to your arrival. She also dismissed me as we were leaving. She commented that they would order out if they got hungry and I said that there was food on the stove. She said "Okay, Thank you," in that dismissive way that she uses with servers and other people she sees as beneath her. I appreciate that she was giving all of her attention to Spencer, but that doesn't give her the right to be rude to me. She seems to be more boldly rude with each visit. It's too bad to, becuase I, at one time, thought things would be good between us and we could avoid the usual MIL/DIL bullshit. Guess not... I really don't want to not like her, I want my life to be tranquil and that just adds unnecessary stress. Oh well... Maybe things will change as Spencer gets older. I've already decided that when the second baby comes I'm going to tell them to stay away for a couple of months until I get my balance back. We'll see how that all works. Mike is pretty good about putting my/our family's needs before theirs, but he is still very aware of their wishes.

Went to graduation on Monday night. I felt completely detached, like my spirit was already gone. I knew that students wouldn't be devastated by my leaving, but I thought I would still feel like a part of the celebration. Instead I felt nothing. I couldn't remember names of students and fellow teachers alike. I guess I was farther along the path of putting that life behind me than I thought. At one point I was tearing up, but not for the grads, for the fact that I felt like an outsider, intruding on the evening. Oh well, Spencer is worth it, and the next baby will be too.

I took yet another HPT today (that's the fifth I think, I've lost count). It came ups negative again, but I still haven't seen any indication of my period arriving either. I hope I am pregnant, but I'm probably not. Five tests don't lie and I could just honestly be late. I hate the waiting. The good news is, everyday brings me closer to next month and trying again.

Spencer has been spending time in his exersaucer without me right next to him. He can almost reach the bottom now. He's only got a couple of blankets there now. He's standing well, moving around, and grabbing at the toys. He's growing up so fast!!!