Well, we are back from Alabama. I had a really good time. Doodle-butt on the other hand was unhappy a good portion of the time. He just went through another whining phase. By Friday, I felt like my head was going to explode every other second. Between him and the toys constantly blaring these obnoxious songs, and the kids programs on the TV constantly, I don't think my head ever stopped hurting.

Speaking of hurting, Mike is still doing badly. I don't know whether to be rough and push him, unwillingly, out of his pity party, or to let him go. He's miserable, which is pretty much the usual these days. I wonder if he even knows what would make him happy. Realistically happy, I should clarify. I think, unlimited money, a job delivering pizza, the ability to drive any car he chooses on a given day, constant quiet time to play video games and watch TV, cigarettes, and beer would probably cover it. Actually, no, because then he'd complain he was lonely, so add in some sort of social activity that doesn't require too much commitment. I think maybe it could all just come down to that. He needs friends. I can't fix that for him. I kinda tried with introducing him to Scott, but that didn't work. Oh well, I just hope when he finally does realize what will make him happy that myself and the kids are part of the equation. He called our home a "prison" last night. I said that it will only get better if he thinks it will get better and he replied that it will never get better then. Does he have any idea how much his words hurt???? Spencer and I had just gotten home from an 8 hour drive and I tried to snuggle up to him, when he started saying that. Needless to say, I just rolled away. Couldn't sleep then. If the life that we've built together is so unbelievably awful that the thought of living it without "beer goggles" is this unbearable, then what? I guess that's the alcoholism talking though. Maybe any life would be unbearable. When you've had a crutch for that long, it's hard to face the reality. Oh well, I was up most of the night thinking about this, and I really don't want to think about it anymore...