Credit where credit is due: graphics from freebies section of digitalscrapbookingplace.com. Cherish Add-On by Beth Nixon.

Anyway. Their stupid terms of use make me feel guilty if I don't write that. If I went to a craft store and bought a piece of scrapbooking paper, would it have the artist's name on the back? Hell no. And would I be expected to put the artist's name somewhere if I displayed it on my wall? No. I bought and paid for the damn graphics (well, they were free in this case, but that's the designer's choice), so I should be allowed to use them as I see fit. I don't pass them around and if someone asks I would gladly give at least the website and the artist too if I knew it, so they could buy it themselves. I don't claim I designed it, I just don't advertise that I didn't either. Anyway.

Great kids. Spencer threw the mother of all tantrums tonight. He DID NOT want to go to bed. He tantrumed when it was time to clean up the playroom, time to get out of the bath and time to turn off Cars. He's never been like that before. We left him crying in bed and I felt awful because we've never done that before. So I went back in after he'd calmed down and tucked him in properly. I did ask him what was wrong, was something hurting, after his bath and he pointed to his mouth. So I gave him some Tylenol. He seemed pleased, but still threw a fit when Cars went off. I gave him some Cheerios and he was so involved in pretending to be the characters in the movie that he didn't eat them. Then he crammed a big handful into his mouth when he realized it was bedtime. Crazy child.

One playdate turned to two today. One mom and her daughter left before the other mom came. It worked out nicely because we got to talk a bit. I was able to talk to the first mom about recent events, because I've known her for a while now and trust her not to think I'm seeking attention. I've not really been able to talk to anyone other than Mike. I've started about 15 posts here and deleted them (long ones) because I don't feel comfortable putting it all out there. Ironic considering what I put out there before. But this is different.

On that note, I finally believe that Spencer is okay. And more importantly, I realize that even if someone did try to label him as this or that, it doesn't matter. He'll still be the amazing little boy tomorrow that he was today. He waited at the window for Mike to come home tonight. Wonder how many other times he's done that I thought (in my ppd fog) that he was staring off into space and freaked out. He's trying more words. He said yes and please very clearly today. In fact, he said a full sentence that had dada in the middle. That's when I said that daddy would be home in a minute and he went to the window. I wonder if he was asking when daddy would be home. OMG!

I just got an email from someone who know Nadya. It is a mass reply to a mass email that Nadya sent out over a year ago saying that she had a new email address. It is in french, so I have no idea what it says. I'm going to go try to translate...

It's from someone who knew her from school back in Canada and only corresponded with her now through email. She was asking for funeral information. I surely don't have any information...

Back to good things. Where was I. Shit. Assuming they argued, which I have to assume because the thought that all that wasn't preceded by an argument is unbearable, they probably would have been ripping into each other by this time, exactly one week ago. I just wish I could call her and tell her how sorry I am, and I want to be her friend again. I think I always thought I would eventually run into her or something and it would be like there was never a break.