No updates lately.  As usual that mean that things are going well.  I hope when I look back I can remember that the sparse months are times of happiness and not focus on all the negative that is typed up in great detail here.  I am very fortunate for the life that I have, I try to spend a few moments everyday reflecting on that and being grateful.  I think deep down, I'm always expecting something bad to happen that will crumble the security that I know and take for granted.  I certainly don't have enough good karma built up to keep this lifestyle up much longer, I'm in karma debt as it is.  Just waiting for the universe to check my account balance and start charging interest lol.

Spencer is enjoying pre-school.  His language has come forth by leaps and bounds.  I don't even think about the receptive problems anymore, he seems to understand everything.  And his expressive seem to be all about pronunciation.  Still not using his full mouth, but I've heard him practicing in bed at night, so I'm sure he will overcome it sooner rather than later.  Physically he's fantastic, jumping and running and being silly all the time.  Loves to be outside.  He begs me to play MarioKart on the Wii so he can watch.  I've never been as good at any video game as I am at MarioKart lol.

Rachel is almost two now.  I can't believe it.  In my head, I'm definitely thinking of her as a 2 year old.  We were at Costco the other day and she wanted clothes.  She actually chose and rejected outfits and when we got home she HAD to try all of them on.  She's such a girly girl.  I can't believe how different she is from Spencer.  She's speaking in full sentences, has been for awhile now.  I still have trouble understanding a lot, especially when they get longer than 5-6 words, but it's getting easier.  She's obssessed with watching tv, and her favorite characters when she's not.  Dora, Boots, Elmo, Mickey and Minnie, ugghh!  We were at Toy's R Us the other day looking at bikes and she gravitated toward the disney princess themed ones.  So we didn't get a bike lol.  Not really, well we didn't, but more because we were looking more for Spencer and he wasn't with us to make a choice (at school) and Rachel didn't seem truly partial to any bike in particular for herself.

Mike and I are doing well.  We are loosing weight.  Finally.  I can't believe Spencer turned 3 before I was able to get back on that wagon.  Oh well, better late than never.  I realized the other day that I think this truly is the final step in my ppd recovery.  Every time I think that I'm 'all better' I look back a few months later and realize that I still wasn't.  Not this time, the decision to take back control of my body and to put at least some of my interests at the forefront of my life was the key to pulling it all back together.  Three years to recover.  Most women only take a few months lol.  But I've never been most women.  On a sorta related note, something came up about the autism the other day and I realized that I can't even remember the questions from the toddler autism checklist that I thought about constantly way back when.  I haven't questioned anything Spencer's done in awhile (not even secretly in my head) as being normal or worrisome.  It feels good.

I ran last night.  That was cool.  Probably the highlight of my weight loss so far.  I've always wanted to be a runner.  When I picture my ideal fit body, it is always lean and long like a runner, and in my mental picture, I'm actually running.  I've never been able to.  Even in junior high, I ran cross country, but I usually walked most of the trail.  I've tried a few times since then, several times when I was losing weight before having Spencer, but it didn't work.  But last night I was able to do it.  Not running, more jogging and certainly not for long stretches yet, but I did it.  I'm using the couch to 5k model and I just went around my neighborhood.  Danger came with me, poor dog was tuckered when we got home.  Oh well, he'll get used to it lol, I'm keeping him with me for safety, there's still a crazy guy that walks around my neighborhood sometimes.  I was really proud of myself to keeping going.  Ironically, it actually got easier as I got farther into the workout.  It was getting harder at first, but then it just seemed to flip.  Guess I never bother to get past the 'getting harder' part before :o(.