Being fat is hard. Losing weight is hard. Maintaining lost weight is hard. Pick your hard.

Today I picked: Losing weight.

Let Jillian torture me again this morning. Though today was the fourth time I've done it and I can definitely tell a difference. I still have trouble with a several of the moves and I still collapse into a heap while she works on through 5 more of some things. But it's not as hard as it was the first time. I think when I do it again on Sunday, I will just watch and listen to my own music, I think the lame backbeat makes it feel like it goes on for ever.

Usual breakfast, had some cous-cous for lunch. I'd never had it before and found it very tasty and filling when mixed with a little butter and parmesan cheese. In hindsight, I should have put some veggies in too - will remember for tomorrow. Went ot Red Robin for dinner - not my choice, familial obligation - had a chicken burger with cheddar, mayo and bbq sauce, and fries with ranch dressing. Could have been worse, Mike had the Royal Red Robin lol. Why, oh why, did my family members think it was a good idea to sit 10 people at one of those corner round booths that are made for 6? I couldn't hear anyone and had to sit with my butt hanging over the seat. Oh well, we will see the out of town family again tomorrow and will get a chance to chat then.

Did a 4.5 mile run mid day. That felt good. Kept thinking about picking my hard while I was running. I've never run that whole route without walking before, but I kept reminding myself that if it were easy, everyone would be a size 6. It is hard, it needs to be hard and I need to rise to (and even above) the challenge. So I powered on through the wind was pushing me backwards during the first couple of (uphill) miles. And through that seemingly never ending stretch of straight road that comes right after the 3.1 mile mark - where more than once I have started walking without even realizing it, my body is so used to running 3.1 on the treadmill.

I did notice something very interesting though. I wore the heart rate monitor for a change. I usually don't because under the tight running bra that I wear it rubs blisters sometimes. But looking at my data when I got home, I noticed that the times I wanted to walk/quit the most were when my heart rate was up too high. Today I forced myself to slow down, which pulled my heart rate down and allowed me to continue on. I didn't realize that was what I was doing. So maybe I'll wear the monitor more often and use the alarm thing to let me know when it's getting too high and I can avoid that feeling altogether. That would be nice.

Kids and Mike were great today. Spencer's fever did not return and they both had fun at school. My mom came for the afternoon and spent some time with them. They've missed seeing her since Mike's been home. Hopefully once he is back to work, we can see her again with more regularity. Dinner was good, I shouldn't really complain. MIL and her sister lavished Rachel with attention which Rachel just soaked up like a sponge. Mike's cousin and his wife got Spencer a couple new cars which he happily played with all through the meal. Rachel can write all the letters of her name, though I haven't seen her do them in order yet. I'll see if she wants to work on that tomorrow. Got an iPad app for tracing letters, I'm going to see if Spencer will work on that. He doesn't like to be taught (yeah, that's going to make for fun school years lol), so I'm hoping that seeing the little train move across the letter in the direction he is supposed to go will be a way to help him over come his current refusal to write. Also, he can't seem to pick a hand to use. I'm 99% sure he is left handed, but he still used his right hand a lot too. So I'll try to get him to do that tomorrow as well. And play some games. We haven't played UNO all week!