Finally made it to a zoo.  It was the Memphis Zoo and it rocked.  Much better than the one at home.  Polar bears were awesome, and Panda's and the cats were great!  Spencer slept through the whole thing.  Sad for him, but good for me, because I got to look without worrying about him waking.  Mike will be here on Friday!  Spencer was great today.  Got hungry early for his second bottle and screamed like yesterday.  He's starting solids SOON!!

Big decisions about baby #2.  Why do I want another baby so soon?  Is it just because I dont' want to put Spence in daycare?  Is it because I want to have them really close together?  Do I really even want a second child?  And the biggy, am I just trying to avoid going back to work?  

I think I can pretty safely say that the answer to the last question is "no".  I didn't love my job every moment of every day, but overall I enjoyed it and I enjoyed the social interaction that went along with it.  And I would be delusional to think that having two kids would be easy.  Easier than having two kids and working, sure, but not easy.  It would be better for Mike though.  With both of us working, a lot of the child work will fall on him as well as me, but if i'm home, he'll have less of the burden and more of the fun.   UUUGGGHHH!!!  Honestly, I never imagined I'd have any desire to be a SAHM, but I just keep thinking that I'll only get to see Spencer for a few hours a day adn someone else will be teaching him how to walk and talk and feeding him peaches for the first time, etc.  Mike said that he wouldn't resent us for the financial issues we would have if I didn't go back, but I don't know if he can hold himself to that.  He says his priorities have changed, and while I believe him, I don't think they've changed to the point that he'll be okay without a new video game or new car.  Him with $ and toys (both big and small) is like me with a diet - the harder you try to be good, the worse you crave the "bad" stuff.