I just don't know what to do...  I'm not taking to pill, but we could just not have sex.  Ironically, things have been better in that department lately, so it might be a challenge.  How's that for fucked up?  To have a baby or not??????  To stay home or put up with daycare??????  That's really what it comes down to.  It has nothing to do with my job or career or what not.  I'd be going back when they go off to school, it's just about dealing with daycare in between.  Of course after all this speculation and inner conflict I probably won't even get pregnant until December LOL.