Things have finally calmed down a bit.  Summer school will probably not start until July and only be three weeks.  Spencer had his four month shots yesterday.  He cried so loud, poor little guy.  Lucy is continuing to be her irresponsible self when it comes to her health, and now that Spencer is bigger, she is taking liberties that she shouldn't be taking with him too.  Mike said that he will talk to her.  He probably won't and I'll have too.  I really don't want to hurt her feelings, but Spencer is my priority and not her.  I'll do and say what is necessary.  

Mike got his review back at work today.  Not good news.  A 3.7% raise, which is a little above cost-of-living and also above what their advertised cap is.  He thinks he got shafted and I think he's right.  I think they are playing him for a fool and he's letting them.  He wants to believe that he is more important to them than he is.  They just feed him a line of BS and he trots off happily, until the next time they have to feed him a different line of BS.  He's been given the impression that he'll get a raise and a promotion AND that he'll be out from under Matt's "tutelage", but neither have happened.  Unless he brings it up, nobody mentions it happening either.  He said he's going to say something this time, but not until he cools down tomorrow.  Which means he's not going to say anything.  He'll crap out at the last minute.  He really doesn't like confrontation.  I feel for him and wish I could help out in some way.  It affects me more now than before (since we are all dependent on his income), but that means I can say even less than before.  I wish I knew the right path to help him.  Do I get angry, sympathetic, apologetic, quiet, loud, authoritative, or just let him be?  He feels so much pressure, most of which is self induced, to do the "right thing".  I don't know how to soothe him.  Can't get him a present b/c it will remind him of how broke we stand to be, but that's the only thing that cheers him up.  I've been keeping the house cleaned up - big whoop.  Not spending any money.  

Part of my problem with his work situation is completely irrational and self-centered.  I wonder if he has the same attitude toward me and our relationship as he does toward work.  Not saying anything, just bitching in his head and accepting it as his dues in life.  Am I his Matt at home?  I certainly hope not, though it's exhausting trying to always make sure that I'm not stepping on his toes in any way.  I feel like I have to constantly read his mind, b/c he won't tell me if something bothers him - well, sometimes he does, but that's usually about things I don't think he's justified in.  And sometimes, I know something bothers him and I don't care because I get annoyed that he won't say anything. If I can get frustrated to that point and I love him more than life itself. What about the people who he works for who may not give a rat's ass about his feelings? What's to keep them from just walking all over him? More tomorrow when there's more to tell...