It's the end of Saturday, so what's that mean? I'm fed up with my husband. This seems to be a recurring motif. He never has anything nice to say about anyone, and it gets old feeling like Spencer, Rachel, and I are nothing but obligations that weigh him down. That's how he acts. Spencer's eating graham crackers, Mike comments on how he'll drool on them (teething) and make a messy paste with them. Everyone, all the time. No one can live up to his standards. No one. And it's hard to believe that after making fun of/criticizing everyone that crosses our paths (including our kids, his parents, my parents, complete strangers, etc.) he's not doing the same to me in his head. I've never been so close to telling him to get the hell out. I told him if we ever move he'd get to have an office before me because he seems to really need his space - he was moping all day because some of his stuff is being moved due to the creation of the playroom. He told me no because a long time ago I told him that he spent too much time in his office and when he was home Spencer and I never saw him. The insinuation being that he doesn't have an office so I don't bitch at him, not so he is free to spend more time with us. I swear, if I didn't force him, he'd never spend time with the kids and rarely with me. Maybe I'll take the kids and go back to Memphis for awhile. He's so spoiled and selfish that he has to work really hard to put anyone besides himself first. And when he does, he's so resentful of it his attitude ruins whatever he was trying to do. I'm so sorry for him that we had kids. I know he loves them and me, but I don't think he likes any of us. I wish I had someone to talk to. I've even considered going to his mom, but I don't think that would be such a good idea.

See, this is what I mean when I say he brings me down with his negativity.

Something phen-fucking-omenal happended today. We went to the mall to get Mike some new t-shirts and to let Spencer play at this cool play area they have there. Spencer was playing and having a blast. Watching all the other kids and running around, etc. Well, after he'd been playing for awhile, this little girl, about his age, came up to him. At first, he didn't really notice her, but she kinda tapped his shoulder to get his attention. They kinda looked at each other and then they HUGGED!!!!!!!!! It was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Absolutely fucking, mind blowingly adorable. I just laughed and laughed. He was very well behaved other than that, too. Rachel has a meltdown but it turned out she was hungry. Go figure.

He also gave his sister a kiss when we got home. I held her up and made her "give" him a kiss, and then when I did it again, he turned so he was kissing her back. God that kid is amazing. Rachel didn't sleep a lot, but she was only fussy when she wasn't being held.

Someone at the mall commented that we were a beautiful family as I walked past with the kids. That was nice.

It was a great day. I tried really hard not to let Mike's negativity bring me down. I didn't completely succeed but more so than in the past. I sure hope I can keep it up, though. I was really close to asking him to leave today, but I know that would just make things so much worse. I really do love him, I just get tired of being resented constantly. And I REALLY get tired of him acting like the kids are nothing but a bother to him.