Okay, maybe I'm being a tad bit melodramatic. Just a bit. I'm having a rough weekend. Don't really know why. Glad I made that appt with the doctor on Tuesday. I'm definitely getting to a point where I need help. Having a few thoughts of suicide and worse, so it's time to say I need help. As one of my fellow bbc mommies said, "I need a break from my life." Since I'm not going to get that, I need someone to help me learn to cope better than I am.

Spencer had a pretty good day. Getting pretty proficient with the pointing. We went to the grocery and he was grabbing at things to put in the cart. We had a system: I picked items of the shelf, handed them to him, and he tossed them in the back of the cart. I had Rachel in the Snugli and she was happy (for that moment anyway). He pointed to french fries when we passed the frozen potato section and to the preztels when I pointed them out. He was very talkative all day, and I'm hearing real words mixed in occassionally, though still not in context. He also pointed to the m&m's numerous times without prompting and the cheerios. Oh, and there was one day last week when he was pointing at something and I didn't know what and he got upset - well I figured out what it was today. The same scenario presented itself, so I lifted him up on the counter so he could get whatever he was trying to show me. Duh!!! The Oreos! He was very happy when I handed more of them to him to put in the cart today. He took a really late nap. I'd like for that to become normal, but we'll see.

Rachel was a mess. Still with the bad poopys, but not nearly as much. She didn't want to eat or sleep, and cried whenever when we tried to put her down for a nap. So she ended up sleeping for about a half hour between 11 and 6 (I think, I hate the stupid time change, I get totally confused for a couple of days). When 6 rolled around I decided to rock her until she fell asleep. Well, she wouldn't fall asleep on me, but I got her to the point I thought she could lay down and go to sleep on her own. Thank goodness she did. Mike is still saying she has a stomach bug, but I'm starting to think she's developed a milk allergy. I'm going to call the doctor tomorrow and see if I should get some soy formula. And, of course, I had a couple of sample things that I pitched because I didn't think we'd ever need them. Just goes to show you.

Back to Mike and expectations briefly, he expects to have time during the weekend days to play games and surf the net and watch tv. He gets very disappointed when his expectations are not met. So maybe we both need to modify our expectations. Weekend days are no different than weekdays except instead of going to work, you stay home and work. I haven't had a day off in two years either. We both wanted kids, I didn't accidentally get pregnant, but I feel like I'm the only one that's really happy about it.