I'm utterly exhausted, but there are a few things I want to type up for me to read 30 years from now.
Spencer and I are conversing. We've had fleeting conversations occassionally, but twice in less than 24 hours we had decent length exchanges where I could still understand him when the sentences got long. And he understood me too. Here's today's:
Me: Did we see trains today?
Spencer: Yes.
Me: Did you like the trains?
Spencer: Yes, I like trains.
Me: Do you remember meeting Miss Amy today [our new speech therapist]?
Spencer: Yes
Me: Did you like Miss Amy?
Spencer: No
Me: Miss Amy just wants to help you speak better. She's really nice. Were you scared?
Spencer: No
Me: Were you angry or upset?
Spencer: Yes, angry.
Me: Why?
Spencer: 'Cause I wanted down, didn't want to read book.
Me: Would you like to read a book now?
Spencer: Yes! (and then he ran off to get a book).
Speech therapy itself didn't go so well. She pushed him well outside his comfort zone and just kept on going. I was watching on a monitor in a different room and was in tears because I just wanted to scream at her to stop and comfort him. She kinda hinted that we should be doing the same type of thing ("so he never has to finish anything?" in a mildly insulting tone), but I tried to explain that he just doesn't get that upset at home, and yes we do make him finish things. I hope it gets better and if it doesn't well switch to someone else.
Other than that the day was pretty good. I'm off to bed now though I think. I read a 4 book series (Twilight and the following three) in the last week and I've not gotten to bed until very late most nights. I woke this morning in the exact same position I layed down in. Didn't move an inch, and I think I was asleep instantly too. I've actually been holding it together just fine during the days though. I did notice that the tone of the book greatly affected my mood, and I think that was why I had trouble this morning with the speech therapy - the place I was at in the book was a sense of defeat and hopelessness. As I think back now, I can see pretty clearly that reading the last Harry Potter book (with chapter upon chapter of HP feeling lost, hopeless and alone) was what finally broke the last strings I was using to hold on and cope with all that was going on around me. I'm sure if not for the book, it would have been something else, I was already going downhill fast. None the less, it's weird that I can get so sucked into a story that it can really affect my mood like that. I was anxious all morning until I finally finished the book and the whole vampire/werewolf/human gang were guaranteed eternal bliss. I feel much better now lol.
I've been having a lot of personal issues lately. Just really pissed at myself for being so behind and leaving everything to the last minute. More often than not, apologizing for forgetting something or not really putting the effort that I should be into things. Granted that was not really helped by me putting everything aside to read for a week straight. Unfortunately the anger came as I was well into the story line and I had to finish before I could move on. Or maybe the anger was spurred by the anger in the story line and the main character always being upset with herself. Hmmm... Or maybe I'm just exhausted and playing amateur psychologist again. I'm also contemplating if I use too many parenthesis in my typing.
Spencer's great. Rachel's great. She got an Elmo doll from 'Santa' that she is absolutely in love with. All day: 'melmo? melmo? mmmmeeellllmmmmoooo??????' until she finds it (again) lol. Mike is good - we watched Dark Knight together tonight and it was really good. I am good too. Night-Night.