We had to leave a restaurant today.  Actually get up and leave.  Because Spencer was throwing a fit.  He made it very clear that he didn't want to go there, didn't want to sit down, didn't want to eat, etc.  So Mike took him outside for a time out.  He cooled down immediately, but when Mike brought him back he went nuts again as soon as they walked into the door.  Luckily, I had only gotten as far as the drink order and the server was still within distance that I could cancel it and leave.  So we went to a different restaurant, one that we've been to many times and Spencer was totally on board. Unfortunately, there was  a 25 minute wait and we were already pushing into nap time, so we left and just came home for lunch.

Other than that it was a good day.  We finally found a tv stand for the new tv.  It was waaaaaaaaay more than we planned to spend, but it is a good quality piece of furniture that will last forever.  There's no sense in spending $300 on something we will want to replace almost instantly and never really like.  I like the piece we got.  A lot.  I won't look at it and regret spending the money, even if it was more than we'd planned.  If we'd gotten the first piece we'd looked at, even at less than half the price, I would have regretted spending that money.

Spencer's language is steadily improving.  He was running around tonight saying 'ice cream' and when I didn't respond he came up to me and said "HEY!  I want ice cream."  It was demanding, but also very, very cute.  I fixed him and Rachel small sundaes with ice cream, chocolate sauce and whipped cream.  I had to stop them from licking the bowls lol.  He is having more tantrums because he can't express himself.  Which is bad for the obvious reason of increase in tantrums, but good because it means that he is understanding a lot more and trying to express himself.  I guess we've finally hit the actual terrible two's lol.  And tonight I asked him a question with a negative (do you not want to eat?), he paused for a moment and said 'no'.  Then I reworded it (realizing that it was a confusing question) and asked him if he did want to eat and he also said 'no'.  I think he meant the same thing both time, but it was good to see him stop and consider the words I was asking instead of just rattling off an answer to please me.

Rachel is speaking in sentences.  She tries to talk fast (probably imitating me) so I don't understand what she is saying a lot of the time.  But it seems like everyday I understand more.  It's really cool because she's starting to say all those funny things that kids say.  Like tonight she said that she needed to put daddy's shoes on.  She's such a big girl already, I can't believe it.  Full of smiles and laughter.  And she is imitating everything Spencer does.  Everything.  She idolizes him.  Asks for him first thing if she happens to wake before him (rarely happens) and gets nervous if she can't find him.  She's imitating him hitting too, but hopefully that means she'll hit him back and he'll learn a lesson.  I doubt it though, it probably means there will just be more hitting lol.  Oh and the other day she stomped her little feet in protest.  It was sooooooooooooo cute.  I do the same thing when the dogs are obeying and I want to show them I'm serious.  She just stood there and repeated her request/command and stomped her feet a couple times.  It was all I had not to break down laughing because it was so adorable.  I wish I had a video camera in my head so that I could just download certain sequences at the end of the day.  But that's why I keep this blog ;o).

I'm on a diet.  Furreal this time.  Ha!  I'm not taking it too seriously, but I am trying.  One day at a time.  I've meant to start and considered starting countless times, but this is the first time I've actually done it.  It's only been 3 days.  When I did it years ago and was successful, I remember that the first 10-20 pounds were so hard, but once I saw and felt how much better I looked and felt it got easier.  So I'm trying to keep that in mind this time.  There's not atkins this time though.  That was good last time because there is absolutely no cheating on atkins (the real atkins anyway, not the low-carb movement that people called atkins).  That helped me gain will power in the nine months that we followed it.  Then when we switched over to a more traditional low-cal/fat diet, it wasn't so hard because we had been doing it for so long.  That's not really an option right now though because of the kids.  They need balance and I'm not going to cook multiple meals. So we are just going straight to the low cal/fat and working on will power.  I've been using calorie king software and joined their online service.  Mostly so that I can have a central location for my food diaries since I used three different computers (desktop, laptop and phone) to log things.  So far, each day I've been well under, though not intentionally.  I've just been sticking to meals and small snacks.  Today I was way under and had to pick a higher cal dinner than I normally would have considered diet friendly and still had to add bread and a granola bar.  I should probably eat some veggies too.  I've also decided that I'm going to start eating more kinds of food.  I've allowed myself to become so picky that it's nearly impossible to eat healthy.  So I'm just going to start cooking with things that I normally wouldn't eat and eat it anyway.  I've got no allergies, so none of it is going to kill me.  Besides, I really don't want the kids to grow up with the same unhealthy habits that I have.  If we start eating a variety of foods now, while they are still young, hopefully they will grow up being used to eating healthy veggies and fruits and it will carry with them.  So anyway, I'm on diet.  No fanfare, this is the most I've talked about it.  I told Mike and one friend, but even then I'm not taking it too seriously.  No need to set myself up to fail.

One more food related thing, this is already way too long of a post, but I want to record this.  Last weekend at my dad's the kids had mac and cheese for dinner.  After we put them to bed, my dad and I headed out to get chinese take out for us to eat.  On the way out the door, I walked by Spencer's plate and took a large bite of mac and cheese.  My dad looked at me and said "we are going to get dinner!?".  I literally hadn't even realized that I'd taken the bite.  I saw food sitting there and just ate it.  I wasn't even that hungry - as I'd already munched on their leftover chicken nuggets.  AND we were on our way to get dinner (note that I wasn't really all that hungry for dinner either).  So, I munched on a couple chicken nuggets and that satisfied me.  Then I ate a big bite of cold mac and cheese (that didn't even taste very good) without even realizing it.  And still went to get chinese food that I wasn't very hungry for.  All the while feeling bad - which is pretty much a constant in my mind sometimes more at the forefront than others but always there, seriously, no exaggeration - because I'm so fat.  I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I WAS EATING!  So now I'm on a diet.  And the biggest two rules of my diet are to be aware of anytime I put food in my mouth and not to finish the kid's meals/snacks.  There have already been numerous times I've been about to eat a pretzel or goldfish out of habit and caught myself.  And it's only been three days.